Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
