Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
