Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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