We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
