We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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