I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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