1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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