Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
