I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Blood and glitter go together right?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
