I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i barfeds in our rink
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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