That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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