I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you never un-have a 4some
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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