I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
