pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
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Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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