PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
