Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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