I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
