Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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