I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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