I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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