Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
