I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize