I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
