very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
