let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
