Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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