and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
