You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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