Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
