did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
