Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
