Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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