She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
