Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
