I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
