Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
