Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
