hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
