You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
