I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
