I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize