BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
