Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
