i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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