um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.