his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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