yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.