I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.