I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal