She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
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At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I woke up under a house in Key West
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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