My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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