'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woke up backwards on a recliner
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
