yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I stole a fireplace last night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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