idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
