Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
