i love accidental penises.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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