She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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