y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize