I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
