Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.

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(609): ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise. http://tfl.nu/slpx

Replies (13) Good night (2837) Bad night (546)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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(580): I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite. http://tfl.nu/hgau

Replies (12) Good night (850) Bad night (2628)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

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(314): I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle. http://tfl.nu/i8jn

Replies (35) Good night (4747) Bad night (914)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

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(860): The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up. http://tfl.nu/uswo

Replies (14) Good night (1360) Bad night (4382)
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(315): View more from New York

in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."

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(315): in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me." http://tfl.nu/9q0b

Replies (4) Good night (3996) Bad night (717)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.

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(336): I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver. http://tfl.nu/y72r

Replies (9) Good night (4090) Bad night (980)
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(217): View more from Illinois

he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate

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(217): he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate http://tfl.nu/55wo

Replies (14) Good night (951) Bad night (2533)
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(206): View more from Washington

Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.

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(206): Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year. http://tfl.nu/cw7s

Replies (2) Good night (3778) Bad night (927)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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(902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3

Replies (6) Good night (2056) Bad night (1448)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water

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(919): I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water http://tfl.nu/62v1

Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (1675)
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(804): View more from Virginia

time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever

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(804): time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever http://tfl.nu/4zua

Replies (6) Good night (1517) Bad night (654)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Let's drink?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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(319): Let's drink? (1-319): Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/5wza

Replies (5) Good night (1797) Bad night (600)
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(951): View more from California

I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.

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(951): I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement. http://tfl.nu/1khp

Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (524)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember

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(630): I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember http://tfl.nu/77e3

Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (520)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.

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(609): I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out. http://tfl.nu/kpzq

Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (770)

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