Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning. http://tfl.nu/oj20
  Replies (7) Good night (756) Bad night (3700)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me. http://tfl.nu/qg7x
  Replies (58) Good night (5615) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/6eew
  Replies (13) Good night (4537) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard http://tfl.nu/p7e3
  Replies (16) Good night (5242) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes http://tfl.nu/q5w9
  Replies (25) Good night (5607) Bad night (1761)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal. http://tfl.nu/qev8
  Replies (26) Good night (17931) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2677) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing. http://tfl.nu/dwve
  Replies (6) Good night (2378) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated. http://tfl.nu/4rw5
  Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (1944)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus. http://tfl.nu/ls1i
  Replies (4) Good night (2011) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport???? http://tfl.nu/yffg
  Replies (11) Good night (981) Bad night (3417)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck. http://tfl.nu/rwsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up http://tfl.nu/86tf
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness http://tfl.nu/qoug
  Replies (0) Good night (832) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys http://tfl.nu/88rh
  Replies (10) Good night (1587) Bad night (481)

Randomize