Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
