There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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