life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me