I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
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The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!