sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
