He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
