She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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