The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
