He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
