absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
