Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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