just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
