Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
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she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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