We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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