If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize